Wednesday, June 17, 2009

a glimpse

sometimes I'll see just a glimpse of something truly beautiful as I careen down SR 92. Tonight, I glanced to the right and saw... well, a field so lovely in the fading twilight that my heart skipped. It was a simple field, and I drive by it every day. But tonight, it was magic. The dim remnants of the sunset seemed to dance among the tall grass, as though the sun fairies didn't want to say good night. I could smell the sweet, sweet smell of summer pasture, the smell of dusk, the smell of cool evening. I could feel the warm, damp ground, and the gentle breath of the night on my face. I found "sweet afton" there. And yet, I experienced all this in a fraction of a second, driving 55(ish) miles per hour. I love when that happens. That field was so beautiful, I ached. It was like looking into a picture of perfect, silent, contented peace. I was looking for peace all day, and then it just appeared on the side of the road...

Saturday, June 6, 2009

This is big!

Today, I received my lanyard, shirt and pin from my delegation leaders. We are leaving in 16 days! Just today it hit me. I'm going... really going! For months and months I've been planning, saving, and wondering if this was real. Today I realized, as if for the first time, that I am doing something that billions of people can only dream about. I am part of a very special group, and part of an organization that is incredibly unique. We are all part of something huge... I had a taste of this feeling when in school plays, being a small part of a fantastic production. But now, this is so much bigger, and means so much more to so many people- it's unfathomable. I have no idea what lies ahead. Of course we have an itinerary, but that means nothing. Those stark sentences don't convey all that will be going on.

I can't believe I'm doing this! =D

A couple years ago, I remember having this constant feeling of restlessness. I wanted stuff to happen, I wanted to go DO things, see things, have adventures! But at the same time, I was afraid to step out and actually get things moving. Now, I still have that craving for adventure, but now I'm actually doing something about it! Not that I did this all on my own- far from it. I just mean that things are starting to happen... and now I know that I can step out on my own and go for it!

So many adventurous things... kayaking, horses, Yellowstone, Australia, New Zealand, Fiji!

What's next?
A road trip, me thinks (with horses).
And Africa (on horseback).
Then the British Isles (where I'll ride).
After that, I'll ride the entire Pacific Crest Trail on horseback.
(I will be adding to this list)

When people ask me, "so, what are you doing after high school?" or, "what do you want to do with your life?" I'm not too keen on answering. I don't really know yet, but how can I? I haven't done enough things to know what I like. But I'll tell you one thing, I'm not going to have a fixed career. There are too many things I want to do! But what I DON'T want is a normal American life. Wherever life takes me, I won't let it be normal! Oh, it just cracks me up when people show concern over my future, when they haven't had anything to do with my upbringing! It used to bug me when they said things like, "Oh, but aren't you going to college?" but now, I just smile. I'll go to college if what I am going to do requires it. But I'm not just choosing a college and a major on a whim.

People have such fixed opinions on the way everyone should live. It really gets to me. Well, that's part of what I'm doing on this trip. The goal of D.D.Eisenhaur was to bring nations together, to promote peace through understanding, and to open up the world to the youth of our nation. I am helping in that. I am doing something that has definite potential for the ripple effect.

Well, I really didn't mean to ramble this much... this was supposed to be like a paragraph. But anyhow, I shall definitely write a big, fat entry when I arrive home.

Goodbye for now!